Cruel to be Kind

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Cruel to be Kind Empty Cruel to be Kind

Post  ExtraCookie on Thu Apr 21, 2011 8:59 am

I just want to ramble (see how I admit it right off the bat now? That's good, right?) about a little observation that I'm sure you've both already observed, but . . . I just want to address it anyway! You don't have to read it, gooosh! Although I think it'll make helps very happy. Because I'm giving Damon a compliment. A weird compliment. But that's Damon territory for ya.

I was just watching a clip from whatever ep. it was in which Stefan was still dealing with the effects of drinking hublood. (!!!!! The one with, "You ask, I come. I'm easy like that." and "No, Elena, I will not. . . go to your . . .bedroom with you!" in it!) Watching Damon snark the truth about Stefan at her just made me think of how he has his own, back-handed and simultaneously self-serving way of helping people. Sure, Damon gets pleasure to a degree (or did) out of messing things up for his brother because of pain and perceived pain he's caused him, but, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a big fan of truth and honesty. Oh, sure, a kind, white lie here and there is fine and can even be very good. However, overall and, especially, when it comes to the big, important stuff, knowing the truth is very important, even if it's ugly. Damon understands the truth of that. Damon is actually very kind with his blunt, snarky truth delivery to people. Dean would have a field day with his "sugar coat it" comment if he knew Damon; he'd be saying it, like, every day. Laughing I also actually think that, often, it's better NOT to sugar coat the truth; that way, it penetrates more quickly and deeply. For instance if, in that ep., Damon just kept falsely soothing Elena, "Oh, don't worry, everything's gonna be just fine. Stefan will be his sweet, sappy self in no time," when Stefan was finally unable to hide what he was going through, it would've been that much harder/shocking for Elena. Instead, the way Damon pulled no punches in letting her know the truth, she was able to be prepared.

Damon snarks to everyone. He's a snarker. He loves to snark. However, the more truth he snarks at you, the more he likes you and the kinder he is (and, therefore, the more likely it is that he's testing you & hoping you'll pass). Notice how much he snarked to Alaric in the beginning. Note how they've bonded. There, also, is a case where someone needed the truth. I think Damon was the key to helping Alaric move on. Yes, Isobel compelled him to ease his pain, but he had already faced the truth and was moving on before she even did that. Why? Damon. (Aww, and Alaric had already returned the favor by setting a good moving-on example for Damon by Isobel-compelling time, too. Sweet!) He told him the truth, with zero sugar coating. Damon flings the truth at you like an arrow; full-strength, pure, unrefined and straight to the heart. If you deal with that truth in a stand-up, adult, strong way, you win Damon's respect and, most likely, his friendship and come out stronger for it. Which is just awesome. I do think that the way a person handles the ugly truth is a mark of her/his character too. It's no easy task to face up to an ugly truth that has a profound, painful effect upon your life but, if you can face it, acknowledge it, do the best you can with it, then move on, you're better for it, in most cases, than you would be if you lived in "blissful" ignorance or denial of it. With Alaric, not only did he handle the brutal truth beautifully, but he even came through the fire of Damon killing him. Alaric couldn't possibly have proven his mettle as a man and friend any better and Damon clearly admires the hell out of that. I'm sure, though it's unspoken (verbally!), Alaric credits Damon with helping him out. Again, oddly, hilariously and sweetly, their attempted-murder-then-murder was a lovely bonding experience! (Uuuugh, my heart hurts thinking of Dalaric/Alarmon! All these spoilers have me scared they'll take Alaric from us! They'd better not! Damon needs him and they're just a fantastic friendship to watch, ya know, when they bother showing it to us! But sometimes there's just not time to work it in cuz we have to watch Bonnie make things float, ya know? That's very important! Rolling Eyes They need to develop the friendship, not end it. Damon needs someone who can reign him in sometimes when his bro or desired woman can't, due to all the complications. Good Lord, someone needs to get him to stop using poor Andie as his sucking bag! [Get it, instead of punching bag? Oh, I'm hilarious, ha ha ha.] Besides that, just as Alaric said, he's really Damon's only friend [yes, Stefan, Elena and even Jeremy, Bonnie & Caroline are friends in a way, but Stelena has complications and Jeremy, Bonnie and Caroline aren't close. Alaric's the only one without complications and who always has his back. He's saved his life at least twice now! The vampire who killed him! God, that's all just so deliciously twisted!] Anyway, I was trying to say Damon's lost enough people and been through enough for a while, don't ya think?)

This isn't to say Stefan is shabby in the truth department. He tends to be honest too (to a fault, as Damon so arrogantly pointed out last ep.), but he always sugar coats. Just like Damon could stand to be gentler with the truth at times, Stefan could stand to be more blunt with it at times (seeee how they balance each other?! I love Damon the most, but, sorry, helps, not to the detriment of Stefan. I don't get this "camp" and "team" thing. Love all around from me). Sometimes people need to be slapped in the face with truth so they can take it in and deal with it and Stefan's not so good at that.

Damon. on the cloud

P.S. NOW that bit about Stefan makes me want to comment further about their balance; how they compliment each other so damned beautifully and how they EACH have perfect things to offer Elena. I love how there are all these situations in which EACH brother's way to handle something is right or wrong! Where which method is the right one isn't clear cut! I suppose that's not as intriguing and fun for those who are "team" or "camp" one bro or the other, but for those of us who are less biased, it's something to sink our teeth into! Stefan's not wrong, but neither is Damon. Damon's right, but so is Stefan. Gray areas done right, I love it! Again and always, I say, I have one word for Elena: Polyamory. helps and I can also recommend a book on the subject for you. I'm just sayin'. Twisted Evil

P.P.S. Not sure why my descriptions of blunt truth ended up sounding sexual, with all that talk of "penetrating more deeply" and "take it in." I'm also not sure why I just pointed it out like a dork when you probably wouldn't have even noticed if I hadn't. I must enjoy embarrassing myself. Twisted! Embarassed
Damon's midnight snack
Damon's midnight snack

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